Isn’t it odd how one person in a given situation will wish so badly to be in another? It is almost part of the human psyche that we must not be happy with what we have. When we are in a good situation, we can only look at the negatives.
Currently I do not have a job. This of course means that I have a lot of time to enjoy the finer things in life. However, given my nature of wanting to be challenged I can’t. I have all the time I could want to write and plot, to do things with my friends and girlfriend, to do anything I can think of. But unfortunately, I do still live in a world where money IS an obstacle that must be overcome. Therefore I am constantly beset by a need to get a job. So I fill out applications, and hand them in, knowing that in our current economy my offering is nie on useless.
Beyond this, my ultimate wants and desires are becoming things that aren’t possible, or shouldn’t be desired. And try as I might I cannot change myself. So I’m lost in my maze and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger with no thought to my ability to handle it. But yet, this is life. Learning how to adapt to the maze is just one of its challenges. So, I must keep going, and hope that somehow, my mixed up desires and current life situation will somehow become more manageable, more possible.
Alas, God, I pray it may be so.